It's been LONG. From the 2nd day after our positive pregnancy test (so early the nurse at the office refused to take a blood test even though I insisted I was pregnant) I have been feeling not myself. The early days was constant sickness and nausea and extreme fatigue...which switched to severe back pain, like the kind where you can't move...which switched to a large belly starting already at 12 weeks which has given me so many limitations for SO.LONG. I can count on one hand how many "good days" I've had. I know these sound like complaints...aaand they kinda are...but they are also just matter-of-fact sort of thoughts to remember this pregnancy.
It's one of the crazier experiences I've had being pregnant with two babies. It really is different. I haven't sat on the ground in months...or put Hazel to bed in weeks (because I can't physically get out of her bed anymore)...Or fully shaved my legs...I wear the same 2 skirts so much that I plan on burning them once these babies are born. But oddly enough, I've had a BETTER experience than my pregnancy with Hazel. I've had no swelling, no claw hands, less weight gain...I fully contribute this to my eating and lifestyle, but it's still been amazing to see the difference!
Tomorrow we'll be 36 weeks...finally in the safe zone. I honest to goodness didn't think we'd make it this far. Every week we gave praise to God for another week of growing babies. And now it's here! The BIG milestone for multiple babies is here in less than 24 hours! Praise God! (And we're not allowed to go into labor this weekend -- my doctor is out of town until Sunday!)
Here's what I'm ready to put behind me:
*Playing with Hazel. I can instantly burst into blubbering tears when I think of how much I am NOT a mom to her right now...I'm always having to say no to her and she is forever patient and understanding. I do what I can like reading books, coloring, and playing games at the table. But I can't W.A.I.T. to take her somewhere...to PICK HER UP! To Hug her! To put her to bed, to run after her outside and laugh out loud with her, to wash her hair and give her a piggy back ride. I feel frustrated that this is the last few moments of just "the three of us" and I'm stuck in bed being lame.
*Rolling over in bed. I don't care if I'm only getting 1-2 hours of sleep at a time...at least it will be a GOOD hour of sleep. I moan and groan rolling from side to side because of the weight and pressure of my belly. And by midnight my body already feels bedsore and achy. There are moments where one of the babies move and if I don't sit up within 10 seconds, I'm going to hurl. It's awesome.
*Eating. Watch out people...I am going to eat an entire house when these babies aren't squishing my stomach. I swear I'm going to gain weight after birth. "Lay off me, I'M STARVING!!"
*Sitting in a chair. It would be nice to just be able to sit down...without feeling two heads in my crotch sitting on my legs. And bending over. Haven't bent over in months.
*Getting out of the house at night. Ha! I noticed the other night driving home from my dads...at DARK...that it had been months since I've been out of the house at night. I'm so DONE and exhausted by evening, that going somewhere is out of the question...
*Getting back into shape!!! I felt so incredible before pregnancy, I'm really excited to feel strong and energetic again. Having two babies sitting on top of my lungs makes a gal feel quite out of breathe all the time...even walking to the bathroom will make me out of breathe.
*Being a wife again. ;) I won't go into that one much.
Things I will miss:
*Well. Let's see................
*Not having to go to the grocery store?
*Okay...so maybe just the ONE thing I'll miss is how wonderfully supportive and loving people have been to me...from my family to friends to strangers. Everyone has shown us such excitement, and it's fun to be in the middle of that.
(Sans this weekend) we are SOO ready to meet you boys!!!! It's time! Let's get this chaotic-life- changing-adventure-party started! (But not this weekend...And actually I really want to go to Hazel's first day of school so let's just wait until Wednesday shall we?)
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